Follow my LDR blog? It’s just weekly (trying) posts about my long distance relationship. Definitely give it a looksee and follow.
Follow my LDR blog? It’s just weekly (trying) posts about my long distance relationship. Definitely give it a looksee and follow.
Tonight was a good night of Skyping and fun with my love. It’s a crazy thing a relationship and a wedding planned on Skype. I’ve never really been into Skype prior to Israel, but just being able to see his face every night is fantastic. But boy do I miss the real thing. Just being able to playfully slap him when he says something to spite me. To touch his face when he looks at me all romantically, because if we were together he would be doing that with the intent to kiss me. It’s still an insane thing to me that I’m engaged to such a loving, caring, sweet, patient man. Sometimes on Skype Israel and I will get in fights. They always work themselves out, and we have this unspoken rule that if they don’t end within in 20-30 minutes one of us will end them. Honestly though even when we fight I still love that man more than anything. I explained to him tonight that everyone will frustrate you…you just have to find the one you still love even when they do so. And that my friends is him. He’s a wonderful man for the fact that every single fight gets resolved. We don’t let them bother us. Once they are done, they are done. That’s it. I think the biggest dilemma with Skype is the fact that it freezes all the time. Although lucky for us it’s never frozen during those intimate moments. Knock on wood. But I guess that comes with the territory. Dropped Skype calls and endless text messages. Things I look forward to always. To the inventor of Skype, I salute you. You are a god to LDR relationships. Hell you’re a god to college friendships, and family relationships, and neighbors next door. Hallelujah for technology!
Love is something that you can’t touch, and you can’t feel it and it’s pretty much indescribable until you finally fall into it. The love I have for Israel seems to just seep right out of me. There isn’t a day that goes but that I don’t fall more in love with him. He’s gone right now and I’m writing this post about how much I love him, and how I’ll wait for him always. But that in itself shows the love I have for him. Much of relationship is long distance, and will forever or for at least the next 19 and a half years be built up of times where we won’t see each other for months at a time. That’s the thing though, we’re so used to it, that we don’t know any better. I’m a little anxious to see how we handle being together all the time for more than weeks at a time. I know it won’t be a bad experience, just different for us. 2016 will be the first full year we will spend together. Crazy to think right? We will have been married for 2 years almost at that point and together 3 and up until that year we will not be together physically for a full year. It’s strange how life works out that way. Definitely not something that I would have ever dreamed of. And it’s surely not something that either of us wish on worst enemy. We want to be together so badly. We want that more than anything. And although at this point in 26 days we will be for even the brief moment that it will be, it’s not something you could wish on your worst enemy, and you truly don’t realize it until you’re in the relationship. Distance is such a hard thing, but if you can work through it, it will be okay. And that’s just what we do. We work through everything. I couldn’t be more proud of us. I truly believe that when you know, you know. And I know with him. I know that he is the man that I want to spend my life with. There is nobody else who gets me like he does. He’s truly one amazing man.
So as I said, Israel is not home right now. So our communication is limited. But tonight when he called me and I was sleeping I woke up right away, and I heard his voice and I just about started to cry. Hearing his voice is exactly what I need to get through my day. He sent me a Facebook message as well today where he told me that soon it would be back to normal, funny for us normal is distance. I miss my man, but I always know we will make it through, because of our love.
In December of 2012 I was just finally free of a relationship that literally ripped me apart emotionally and made me build the walls that I once had, all over again. At that point I was pretty much set on staying single. Focusing mainly on school, working enough so that I could spend my summer basking in the Southern California sun with my best friends. Just living my life, man free. So who would have thought a sociology project, meant to expose how people go on dating sites merely to have sex, would have brought me not only my fiancé, the man of my dreams (who that point didn’t exist), but a best friend.
Let me explain a bit about myself first; I’m very much a realist. So much so that whenever my best friend Cassy would tell me she can’t wait for her happily ever after, her fairy tale wedding, her Prince Charming and her perfect life, I would constantly tell her those things don’t exist. Because in my head they didn’t. In my head perfect wasn’t real, and love faded away, and most men were pigs who wanted sex.
So when my sociology teacher presented an extra credit product about how social media effects your life in terms of things such as school, health, dating etc. and to pick one and write on it, I chose dating. I decided the best way to go about this was to make a couple well known dating or as I liked to called them, hook up sites (okcupid, meet me) and try and just see men’s reactions to my profile in terms of whether or not they would be gentlemen or scum. I kept everything about me true to my personality as I was going to have to write a paper and presentation on my findings.
Around December 15 my finals had taken place, Id turned in my project (for which I had gotten an A) and I was ready for a much needed Christmas break. Since I didn’t need the dating sites anymore I decided I should just delete them. However the night I went on OkCupid to delete my profile, Israel had come up in my matches. I looked at his icon and the first thing I said to myself was “damn, he’s gorgeous”. He was like this perfect gift from god…I’m not even exaggerating. His smile was perfect, his face was just to die for, and to top it off he had Jon Hamm hair. Holy smokes was it love at first site for me, that’s for sure. So I figured why the hell not, I might as well send him a message, no harm, no foul.
When I went to his profile I saw that he liked Catcher In The Rye…this had got to be a dream I thought, being as though that was my favorite book. And that he was leaving for the Navy on January 29th, 2013. It had always been a bucket list item to kiss a sailor! So I figured why the hell not and messaged him some random words about his gorgeous smile and how we shared the same love for that book. And I waited for his reply. Oddly enough it came a day later, and was almost a paragraph long.
It was a long reply in which he basically said he needed coffee, and his name was Israel but he wasn’t but he wasn’t Jewish and that I had a pretty smile to. And after thinking I was a know it all, due to my dating site research, I figured he really wasn’t that interested in me…but something about him called me back.
On Christmas I figured I’d reach out again and send him a “Merry Christmas” message. Only to find he would get online and not reply to me. A lot more hurt than I should have been I stopped going on OkCupid, and just let it be. However a few weeks later sometime in January I checked my meetme for the first time in months and had messages up the wazoo but somehow Israel’s was first. He said to me something along the lines “fancy meeting you here, this site isn’t for hopeless romantics like us, why are you on here?” Don’t quote me on this, I deleted my profile after we got serious so I have to go off memory!
After a few messages back and forth he told me to text him. Well being the lady I am, I told him he could text me and gave him my number. Early the next morning I got a text from a number and it was a “good morning” text. Let me remind you, my last relationship was shit, and things like that had never occurred for me. So I was actually pretty giddy but I tried to play it cool. But by the end of the night I had realized, this guy was more amazing than he seemed to be online.
Israel listened to me talk about my job, my love of history, my need for some gloves because it’s cold outside all while I listened to him tell me about how excited he was for the navy. How he loved politics and how somehow we also shared a love of the 49ers. I knew that I had made a very good friend. All in a day.
The first time he called me and I heard his voice I almost melted. He has this perfect, not too high, not too low voice. And his laugh is intoxicating. It was love a first word? Sure lets go with that.
On January 19 the 49ers won the game that sent them to the Super Bowl. Which sadly for my die hard fan over there he would be missing. That night he called me and what was supposed to be a 15 minute phone call, was 45 minted and likely would have been longer if I hadn’t of had to go to my friend Baylee’s house.
That night I laid on her bed gushing about I man I hadn’t met. And oddly enough she approved, and I remember telling her ” I would do this, I would fall for a man whose leaving me”. But boy had I started to fall.
We set up a date for January 23rd. I had gotten off work, and was late for the time we had set, so I hurried to his house to get him. After texting all afternoon about stalking him through the window, but due to rain I wouldn’t be able to, it didn’t surprise me that when he got in the car he said “you could have stalked me it isn’t raining” I knew that he was the one. Laughter filled my car on that short drive to Sushi.
When we got out of the car, he said “you look hot” something I’d never heard, especially after work. He held the door to the restaurant and he escorted me in. We sat down in this booth, a few feet apart. However at some point he tried to awkwardly put his arm around me so I got the hint to move in closer. After some laughter and closeness Israel leaned in and kissed me.
How perfect? Right? It really was. After that we kept kissing, like we were together as a couple not just on a date.
After dinner came the movie “Mama”. Awful by the way. We got to the theater early and we decided that we would wait outside the room for a bit. Sitting on the bench I showed him my fox socks and he showed me his black socks. Laughing some more. When we entered the empty theater he caught my sarcasm right away and played off of it.
You better believe we snagged that right hand top corner. And lets just say we hardly watched the movie and had it been a drive in, the windows would have been pretty damn fogged up, I know Israel’s glasses were.
After the movie we decided on shakes at Denny’s mainly so we wouldn’t have to leave each other. And so we went. We sat a booth both drinking Oreo shakes and we smiled and laughed and even discussed politics. It was wonderful and boy was I in love.
After that we say in my car a bit. Talking about life, talking about each other listening to music, and even picking our own CD. Oh and there was a lot of kissing too. Enough to you know, excite him in other ways….
The day after I went to Cassy’s and I told her I believed in her dreams of love at first sight, because for me it had happened. I told her it was real and I apologized for doubting her. For the next few days Israel and I talked non stop.
On January 27th came our second date. And on the spur of adventure we decided a San Francisco road trip was necessary. We ended up at Baker Beach. A beach I had loved for years. There we stood far from the shore and he held me close and asked if I wanted to make it official. Well no shit I did! After that we had dinner on pier 39 did some shopping and drove home. Only to stop at leatherbys for some ice cream. I took Israel around my old neighborhood and I took him to heaven. A lookout spot close to home.
At heaven we talked a lot, but we also kissed a lot . Never in my life had I been kissed so passionately. I was so incredibly turned on, to the point where my morals were dead and gone almost….I said almost!!!
Oops I forgot to mention how that drive home from SF held our first “I love you”. As awkward as it was, it was real and boy did I love him too. He was my dream come true, and he was my Prince Charming. Most of all be was mine.
It was now January 28th almost 10 o’clock almost time for him and I to say goodbye for the last time. That was hard for me, but we did it with a smile and a salute. Just like that, my man was gone for 2 months. 2 months where letters were our only form of communication.
Not only did I have to say goodbye to him, I had to say goodbye to my best friends who were off to live in SoCal. I’m good with goodbyes, well I’m used to them at least. So even though I said goodbye to 3 people that I loved dearly, I knew they’d be back.
Every day I wrote Israel. I wrote him 52 letters in 2 months. From day one till the day they tell you no more. Each letter I received came on Thursdays, making that my favorite day of the week. They made me fall more and more In love. And on March 29 her was done with basic, which at least meant we could text and talk on the phone again.
For the next two months my man was in Mississippi. He was in school working hard, and sadly Skype in the barracks never seemed to work so minus the two times it did, we talked on the phone. For ours, like nothing had changed.
And on May 31st when he came home on leave nothing had changed. We were perfect. We cuddled, kissed, hugged, laughed and we had sex for the first time. I’m not sure how much either of us are comfortable talking about to you the public. But I will say the sex is more than incredible.
While at school Israel planned an over night trip for us to San Francisco. And little did I know that day would change my life forever. We spent the day in the city shopping….for stuff he had forgot….long story. Only to arrive at our hotel room in time to change for dinner.
I had bought this black dress and I wanted to wear it so badly. So my man went to the trouble of getting in uniform and taking me out. Boy did he look sexy in that uniform. Let me tell you. However before we left for dinner he and I had decided we’d watch the sunset on baker beach. For old times sake so we left for the beach, me not knowing what was next.
We get to the beach and we walked to what I claimed was the same spot as before, Israel said it wasn’t. Anyway…he wrapped his arms around me and begin to ask me questions like “am I in this for the long run” “do I want to spend the rest of my life with him” and right then he went to get a box out of his pocket, which I might mention got stuck, but out came a ring box and he said “will you marry me?” I said yes so fast I was like I was speed lighting. And there it was June 1st we were engaged.
The next few days were spent together, sorta planning our wedding. Which was a lot easier when it was just ideas. Let me tell you. However on June 11th he was gone. He left for his duty station in Virginia Beach.
For the last two months I have began planning a wedding with him, where the dates have changed twice, all over Skype. Ironically now Skype works and the phone does not. I was a nanny for a family, in which Israel was my reason for getting through without dying first. And we have both still stayed as in love as we were on day one. I can’t tell you how we do all I can say is that we have. And it’s beautiful. It’s us. And he is the man of my dreams and in 221 days he will be my husband and I can’t wait!
I’m writing this incredibly long post in hopes that it will explain our story enough for me to blog all the little experiences and keep track of them. Also Im blogging these to show people long distance works, with the right person. Follow along for more tidbits and stories to come…..